Dear MMB:

So often I come away from church feeling bad about myself. Am I the only one? Are there any other women feeling SO overwhelmed - trying to do everything? Taking care of family, church callings, service, Visiting teaching, school, kids school, supporting our husbands... At the end of the day I'm left feeling exhausted and like I have no talents, I'm not worthy or I just don't measure up. Am I the only one that feels this way?

Help MMB, you're my only hope! (Not really. I've just always wanted to quote Star Wars...)

Thanks for such a wonderful forum for us to all come and feel excepted!

~Robin

Raise your hand if you have ever felt this way. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? We all know who it is that is making us feel this way, right? The trick is kicking that great deceiver out before he wrecks havoc on our self worth.

How do you do it?
How do you get rid of those thoughts?
What do you do when you find yourself starting to feel "less than"?
Is there a secret formula or haka that you chant?
Share your thoughts and ideas with us all!

Thanksgiving is in 23 days. (you're welcome)
It's the time of year where people start feeling grateful.
Grateful for family, friends, the gospel and things.

What do you do to feel gratitude?
Are there specific things you do personally to foster gratitude?
What about as a family?
Then further, how do you maintain the feelings of gratitude all year long?

I used to consider myself, patient, non-confrontational, and even a morning person . . . and then I had children. It’s hard to meet the new "real" you and learn to love her despite her weaknesses.

President Monson gave the talk “School Thy Feelings, O My Brother” during the Priesthood session of General Conference. I absolutely do not question his judgment on this, but I just want to mention that anyone who thinks anger management is largely a men’s issue has not spent much time in the mind of a stay-at-home mom.

I struggle with anger. I do not have temper tantrums. I do not hit my children, scream violently, or throw objects, but I get upset. And it is a challenge for me to let those feelings go so that I can move on with my day. During one period of great humility, I went to Borders and asked the information desk for a good book on Anger Management for mothers. The man eyed me suspiciously and probably wanted to push the red Child Protective Services button under his counter, so I hurried to explain that it wasn’t about violent anger, just angry feelings. Basically, I wanted to get past looking at my children with exorcism eyes. Anyway, enough about me . . . How does this talk speak to you?

“If we desire to have a proper spirit with us at all times, we must choose to refrain from becoming angry.”

“Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.”

“May we make a conscious decision, each time such a decision must be made, to refrain from anger and to leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful things we may be tempted to say.”

It's a great talk. You can read it here, or watch it here or listen to it here.

Then come back and join in the discussion:

1. Do you have any "tricks" or strategies that help you to keep your anger under control rather than let it flare up?

2. The stories President Monson shared seem to imply that forgiveness is an important component of overcoming anger. Do you have any experiences or goals to share about forgiveness vs. anger?

3. President Monson mentioned several common triggers for anger: "It can come when things don’t turn out the way we want. It might be a reaction to something which is said of us or to us. We may experience it when people don’t behave the way we want them to behave. Perhaps it comes when we have to wait for something longer than we expected. We might feel angry when others can’t see things from our perspective. There seem to be countless possible reasons for anger." What are your triggers for anger, and how can recognizing them help you "choose to refrain from becoming angry"?

The batteries for my MP3 player died 90 seconds into my walk this morning. I actually contemplated turning around and going home. I mean, walking without music? What on earth was I supposed to do?

I didn't turn around. I looked up and listened.

Usually when I am walking and listening to my tunes, my eyes are cast down... watching the road so I don't trip and break my leg. I am consumed with my music and oblivious to the world around me. This morning? I had nothing to occupy my brain except my thoughts.

I was astounded with how noisy it is at 6:30 in the morning. Usually all I hear are my various imaginary boyfriends singing to me... this morning I heard so many other things.

The crunch, crunch, crunch of my shoes on the gravel, and the jingling of bells from the necks of goats in the nearby pasture. The swishing of the horses tails, and their snorting at me as I passed by. There was the occasional whirring of the passing biker or the pounding feet of the jogger "passing on your right".


Crunch, crunch, crunch of my shoes as I heard the ba-donk ba-donk ba-donk of the cars on the interstate veering to far to the right and the whistle of the commuter train as it whizzed past. There was the mooing of a cow waking up, and the distant hum of an airplane overhead.

Crunch, crunch, crunch of my shoes as the roosters started to crow and the buzzing of a chainsaw sounded. I heard the Spanish being spoken by the construction workers and dogs barking. I heard the sprinklers giving the earth a drink and the rushing water in the creek.
The birds. My, how loud they are! They sing such beautiful songs, this early in the morning...

I saw the farmer changing his water, and throwing a stick for his dog to chase. I saw you leaving for work this morning, and starting your car. I saw you stumbling out to get your paper, all bleary eyed and still asleep. I saw you looking out your window at me, watching me huff & puff by, drinking your morning drink. I saw the sun starting to peek its golden rays over the mountains.

I found myself caught up in my thoughts. For those 30 minutes of my shoes crunching on the gravel, I could hear whatever I chose to hear and see whatever I chose to see. For those 30 minutes I could be that famous singer that I fantasized about when I listened to my MP3 player. I could be that amazing writer who everyone talks about or THAT kind of mother who has endless adventures with her children and spouse and is always a joy to be around. For those 30 minutes of crunch time, my mind could trick me into seeing, hearing or believing anything.

As those last rays of sun started to shine over the mountains, and I could see the end of my journey in sight... What did I choose?

I chose to believe in me. And to be happy.

~You can read more from motherboard on her blog Crazyland: Tales from the Motherboard.

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Dear MMB:

I would really like to get some ideas on what to do- - In my family, we have one spouse who goes to church with their 5 children. The other spouse wants nothing to do with the church. They have been baptized and went while in their youth, however now? They are totally uninterested... How do you raise 5 kids in this type of situation? How do you teach your children about being an eternal family, when we are not one? How do you live the gospel, have FHE and scripture study, and family prayers without ostracizing the non-practicing spouse? What can I do? Please help!

Thanks for all the hard work you put into MMB! It is the highlight of my mornings and I love not having to bookmark blogs anymore!

Thanks,

~Becky

OK Ladies! Lets put our thinking caps on, and offer support to Becky!

Are there any of you out there in similar situations?

How do you handle this?

What suggestions do you have?

What would YOU do and how would you feel?

So I have a question for all of you.... How much do you spend on groceries? I spend about a million dollars every month. Okay, not really, but it feels like a lot. I just figured it out and I'm averaging about $30 a day on groceries for a family of 6. To break it down even more, that's $5 a day per person. This includes diapers and formula and toilet paper and everything. And while $30 a day doesn't SOUND so bad, that's $840 a month! A MONTH! I'm sure I could do much better.

HELP ME.