Remember that old feature we used to do where you would email us in questions and then we would answer you? Yeah. We sort of dropped the ball with that one. However, we wanted to Resurrect it with a new twist.
You may have seen Braden out and about commenting and posting here on MMB, but you may not really know who he is and may be wondering why the heck a dude is on Mormon Mommy Blogs.
It's simple: We invited him. Braden is one of the VERY FEW male contributors that we have on Mormon Mommy Blogs and frankly he is a breath of fresh air! He brings a different perspective to our community-- and it is grounded and testosterone enhanced!
Braden was recently released as a Bishop and now serves in a Stake Presidency in the Nashville, Tennessee area. He is the assistant admissions director at a private school in the Nashville area and is over their musical theater and chorus departments. He has a gorgeous wife named Meredith and five children ranging in ages from sixteen to three.
Braden has a new book that will be released this summer entitled The Roadshow and you can read more about it on his blog.
We asked Braden to help us with the Dear MMB because of two reasons: The first because he is smart and second he spiritually solid.
We were getting asked a lot of questions that were tough and we honestly didn't know how to handle them (watch for next weeks posts-- they are ALL from these difficult questions YOU have been sending in!)Some of the questions just needed a priesthood holders answer and frankly, we couldn't be running to our Bishops every time we got a tough question.
Thus the rebirth of Dear MMB. We know that you are going to love Braden! He has a solid grasp on the gospel; He is a worthy priesthood holder; He honors his wife and children and he loves the Lord. He will bring a different, but good perspective to not only the Dear MMB but the entire Mormon Mommy Blog community!
Please remember that we are NOT your source for all things doctrine related. If you have questions or problems we would encourage you to meet with your own, personal ecclesiastical leaders. If you don't know who they are, we would more than happy to help you find them. We cannot nor should we be the place you turn for "confessions". There are proper steps for that, and MMB is not one of them. That being said, we do encourage you to send us your questions and we will do our best to find the answers. All three of us-- Motherboard, MomBabe and Braden.
Dear MMB,
My husband doesn’t understand why I love blogging. He goes from being semi-tolerant to being bugged. What should I do?
Thanks,
lost in the blogosphere
Braden says:
The first rule of the marriage translator is this: your spouse doesn’t understand you. But not because he/she is deficient, mean-spirited, or stupid. It is because God made you different. On purpose. Men are not flawed women, and women are not imperfect men.
So, when you encounter something that seems silly or irrational, I suggest digging down a little deeper.
Your husband is un-supportive of your blogging. The question is: why?
If you can answer this then you can address it. However, beware: if you haven’t yet learned this, men are not often keyed into their feelings. There are, I submit, good reasons for this. But that’s another post. Without knowing more, I can’t say for sure, but here are some thoughts.
1. Men tease each other. Usually, this teasing has no meaning. It’s just the way guys act. It might be that he is just teasing you and he doesn’t mean anything by it.
2. Your husband might not understand what it means to you. Sometimes, using an analogy can be helpful in male/female misunderstandings. For example, if your husband loves to play football with his friends, you might help him understand that this is the equivalent for you.
3. While many men enjoy friendships with the guys, men don’t seem to need to feel of connected to other men the way that women need to connect with other women. I think this is especially true for mothers at home with children. Explaining to your husband that blogging meets a fundamental need in your soul might be a helpful step. He may not ever understand this completely. But hopefully, he can at least accept it.
4. Do you allow your husband time and space to do what he wants to do? Just as many men don’t fully appreciate why blogging is important to their wives, I think it’s easy for women to trivialize men’s inclinations, for example, watching/playing athletics. This might be a good opportunity for you both to carve out a little time.
One note: don’t count your husband’s work as “me” time. He’s not doing laundry and changing diapers, but even a fulfilling job is stressful. Chances are, his time at work is not filling his bucket.
5. Does your husband dislike blogging because it threatens him somehow? Men don’t usually talk or think about their emotions much. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have them. A good clue to how your husband feels is how frequently or strongly he states his opinions. If he is always going on about your blogging, it might mean something. For example, men want to be first in their wife’s life. And, in my opinion, that is reasonable. I would add that a wife ought to be first in her husband’s life, too. That includes work, children, hobbies, and so on. Is it possible that he feels replaced by in your affections or priorities by blogging?
