Flying with GRACE

For years I was plagued by The Flying Dream. My legs rotated like I was riding a unicycle, and the harder I pumped the invisible pedals, the higher I rose. It was heady to be air born, but it never lasted; sooner or later, I lost altitude. The realization that I was goin’ down was terrifying. Bad guys, who had been tracking my flight, were of course, waiting at the bottom.

I am grateful to say The Flying Dream became less and less frequent and finally disappeared altogether when I figured out that I didn’t have to “pedal” so hard….

During my twenties I filled my environment with reminders that I was a daughter of a GOD –- and, therefore, ought to be perfect. Sadly, my little family suffered for it. My mothering was too intense at times and my honey-man was roughed over now and again for chancing to be ill on a Sunday or forgetting the tithing check.

Gratefully, a speaker at a stake women’s conference introduced a concept honestly new to me: GRACE. She spoke of the folly of trying to “earn” our way into the Celestial Kingdom, describing a Savior who stands with open arms to embrace us while we keep our distance with excuses. (Mormon 6:17) This visual struck a deep chord with me.

Years of scripture study followed. HOW, I wondered, were the prophets able to continue toward greatness despite their inadequacies? I knew what the end was supposed to be without being square on how to get to that end: living the gospel like a project manager with complicated lists, flow charts, and deadlines wasn’t working.

It took a while, but I fi

nally got the answer. In his mercy, Christ offers His perfection in absence of our own. Personal "perfection", or "finishing", is a long way off -- impossible to attain in this life. In essence, our lists and flow charts can be boiled down to ONE goal:

Uniting ourselves with Jesus, becoming One with Him through a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

When this lesson sunk deep, Moroni’s charge to “lay a hold of every good thing” no longer perplexed me. My life had been a juggling act of “good things”, but now I knew that I just needed to wrap my arms around the Savior and hold on tight. Looking back on the years since my “rebirth”, I can hardly believe how naturally my joy and successes have come.

This was possible not just because I was embracing the Savior, but because He was holding ME. The fear of "falling" (Jude 1:24) melted away as little by little I felt “lifted up”, not in pride, but in perspective. I began to see others, especially my family, through the Lord’s eyes: discovering" my children instead of "molding" them, "respecting" my husband instead of "perfecting" him, until today, I can honestly say I look forward to the resurrection, when I expect to be “brought forth triumphant through the air…”

No pedaling required.