What in the world does that mean?
That means that there are circumstances- besides fertility issues- in your life that prevent you from having a baby. It can be health issues such as: placenta previa which would you put your life in danger if you had another baby or it could be gestational diabetes. It could occur in many different forms. For me it is my mental health.
In 2007 my husband got his very first real job as an associate for a law firm in downtown Washington D.C. We moved our family of six- including a 5 year old girl, 3 year old twin boys and a 1 year old boy, across the country, away from both of our families and bought a house when the economy was just beginning to dive.
We decided to try for another baby. Month after month went by without anything happening. This was strange for me, as I had always gotten pregnant very soon after trying. Six months later I fell into a deep depression and became suicidal. Six months later I was officially diagnosed with Major Depression.
I was hopeful that I would be on Meds for four or five months and we could start trying to conceive again. Four months later I stopped sleeping, became very talkative and hyper and was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder.
Since then I have been on and off medicine-mostly lithium-- trying to get pregnant and yet always becoming manic and going back on my medicine. One time it worked and we became pregnant. I was overjoyed. I also became very manic. Two months later, we miscarried. My heart broke and I went back on medicine.
It’s been 3 years since we first started trying to have a baby again. My friends have gotten pregnant, had the baby, gotten pregnant again and had another baby. My twin sister is pregnant and didn't tell me- she was worried that I would be hurt.
This was never my plan. But it is part of Heavenly Father's plan and I am grateful. I am grateful lithium works for me, that it controls my mania and depression. I'm grateful for my four beautiful living children who make me laugh each and every day. And, I'm thankful for the chance to try again. One day. When the time is right.
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Megan is a stay at home Mom, PTA Board member, Piano teacher and runner who struggles with Biploar disorder and blogs at www.pinkpanda2.blogspot.com
