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The Non-Jersey Shores Situation

We had a situation here this week,
that is very unlike Jersey Shores "The Situation"--
(seriously, is it just me or is that kid kind of immature?--
I've never even seen the show,
but every time I see a photo of him,
his shirt is pulled up like he's a two year old girl.
just sayin.)

we have some young neighbors
who have two girls.
One of whom has tested the
"honesty" waters lately.

She told the Caboose--
who was within ear shot of Nana,
that her parents abuse her--
that her father shoved her down the stairs,
and her parents refuse to feed her!
That if the Caboose told ME,
and if I then told THEM,
she would lie her fool head off,
rather than face certain death!
AND--if the Caboose told me,
then she would make sure
that the Caboose was
suspended from school
go to "Kid Prison".

Now, I was flat-out ignoring the child-abuse bally hooing,
if you knew her parents
like I know her parents,
you would too.
But when the Caboose was fretting about going to
Kid Prison and eating green beans all day,
I knew it was time to have a little chat
with this youngun's father the next morning.

I felt bad telling him,
but if his child had said that
to a teacher,
there could be fall-out.
He was shocked, as you can imagine.

The parents asked if they could come over
have a chat
get to the bottom of this situation
because as you might've guessed--
their daughter would never talk like that.


You know where this is going right,
because you've been there too?I know I've been there--
ready to defend my yahoo's reputation
with my last breath
before I knew any better.
I came to the sad realization that my yahoos--
my beloved off-spring for whom
I have
sacrificed so much--
my waistline
my hard-earned money
my time, talents, means
and last nerves--
MY yahoos would dare LIE to their mother
to save their own skins!

I learned this when my oldest yahoo
was in fifth grade:
the teacher called to "inform" me of my son's
unnaceptable behavior.
It had something to do with
writing on someone else's paper.


While the teacher is telling me
this nonsense,
I told her in no uncertain terms that
Then I asked to speak to my son,
"Did you do that?"
to which he replied "No, Mom."
Satisfied with his answer,
I asked to speak to his teacher.
"Yes, my son says he didn't do that, and I believe him."
Then she said,
"Why don't you come down to the school and see for yourself."

I went into the Principal's Office
ready to claw at anyone who dare challenge my son's character,
only to be handed my dignity
as I saw the paper-in-question with my own two eyeballs.
A little part of me died.
Right there in Mrs. Inserra's office
at Bellair Elementary School.

I was in shock.
My Beloved Son, My David Scott had
told me a big fat honkin' lie...
and he knew when I got there,
I'd find out the truth.

Which I did.


that's the day I learned that while I may
teach my yahoos all I know about being
honest and true,
they like to test the honesty waters
once in awhile.

And I related this story to my young neighbors.
I told them
sometimes kids lie just to see what happens.
And you don't have to beat yourself up over it
or analyze it to death.
You deal with it in your own way,
and move on.

I think my young neighbors were both
relieved and discouraged.
that we weren't mad
that they have a normal kid on their hands--
because before today,
they were pretty sure she was an incarnate Mother Theresa.

Kids wreck us parents up sometimes.
I think it's payback for all the wrecking up we do to them.

I bet that's what that kid on Jersey Shore is doing to his folks.

Dawn aka Momza is the Mother of 7, Gramza to 1,
Midwife Asst./Doula, Home Stager, Writer and Convert to the 
LDS faith. She's living it up in the Colorado Rockies and writes about 
it all at Momza's House.

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