I had lots of General Conference talks that I loved this past October, but there was one that helped me realize what I needed to learn from a recent experience I've had.
Over and over again, I have seen issues escalate between people because of the need to be understood by someone else. I see it happening a lot, especially in the world of social media. We argue our point until we are angry. We get upset when someone makes a comment that we interpret in our own way, in a way that may or may not be accurate. We get upset when someone tells us we are doing something wrong. This can happen in person, but it happens more often online, and we're setting a bad example to those around us who are not members of the church, and are watching our responses to sticky situations.
Recently, I have been having a hard time with a misunderstanding between myself and a family member. I desperately wanted her to see my point of view. It’s very difficult when someone doesn't understand me, because I want people to know what is in my heart. After a few conversations, it became apparent that this person didn't understand me at all, and I was desperately trying to make her see my side. I had apologized for my wrong-doing in the situation, and yet she hadn't. It was a devastating experience. It forced me to rely on the Lord more than I have in a long time. I realized that this person would never see my point of view and may never really “get me” like I wanted her to, and finally accepting that brought peace to my heart about the situation.
Not long after, I heard the talk, Be Meek and Lowly of Heart, by Elder Ulisses Soares, of the Presidency of the Seventy.
I learned that pursuing the Christ-like attribute of meekness was a worthy goal, even though I believed that it wasn't in my nature to be meek. Elder Soares says,
Over and over again, I have seen issues escalate between people because of the need to be understood by someone else. I see it happening a lot, especially in the world of social media. We argue our point until we are angry. We get upset when someone makes a comment that we interpret in our own way, in a way that may or may not be accurate. We get upset when someone tells us we are doing something wrong. This can happen in person, but it happens more often online, and we're setting a bad example to those around us who are not members of the church, and are watching our responses to sticky situations.
Recently, I have been having a hard time with a misunderstanding between myself and a family member. I desperately wanted her to see my point of view. It’s very difficult when someone doesn't understand me, because I want people to know what is in my heart. After a few conversations, it became apparent that this person didn't understand me at all, and I was desperately trying to make her see my side. I had apologized for my wrong-doing in the situation, and yet she hadn't. It was a devastating experience. It forced me to rely on the Lord more than I have in a long time. I realized that this person would never see my point of view and may never really “get me” like I wanted her to, and finally accepting that brought peace to my heart about the situation.
Not long after, I heard the talk, Be Meek and Lowly of Heart, by Elder Ulisses Soares, of the Presidency of the Seventy.
I learned that pursuing the Christ-like attribute of meekness was a worthy goal, even though I believed that it wasn't in my nature to be meek. Elder Soares says,
“By controlling our reactions, being calm and temperate, and avoiding contention, we will begin to qualify for the gift of meekness. President Henry B. Eyring once said, 'When we with faith control our tempers and subdue our pride, the Holy Ghost gives His approval, and sacred promises and covenants become sure.' ”
It can be hard to bite our tongue sometimes. It’s hard to let go when someone has offended us deeply. It’s hard not to have contempt in our hearts for that person. For me, it felt impossible. But, I know now that with the Lord’s help, realizing that I had to depend on him, I was able to overcome those feelings. It took months. It did not happen overnight, and it took lots of prayer, and even a priesthood blessing, but I was finally able to have peace, and stop trying to prove my point to this person. It might not be in my nature to concede easily when I feel that I am in the right, but it is possible to do. And instead of feeling like I was losing a part of myself, I felt the Lord’s help, and I became stronger. Now, I have that wisdom for the next experience that will test me. Meekness is a worthy goal for all of us to be seeking after.
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Meredith is a mother of 3 that is all about trying to be “real” when it comes to motherhood after years of trying to fake perfection. But, it’s the hardest job she’s ever done. She loves blogging about all the perfect and not so perfect moments on her blog, Perfection Pending.
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