Before I was a mom...

I used to be a morning person. I would rise early, and be at work by 7:00 a.m. I’d come home, make dinner, watch a little TV with my husband, and then get ready for bed. He was an early riser too, so it worked out great. By 9:00, we'd shut off the TV and make our way upstairs. The process of getting ready for bed took some time; straightening the house, taking off make-up, personal scripture study and prayer. Then I’d open the novel on my nightstand, and read a couple chapters before my eyelids were so heavy I couldn’t focus on the page. By that time, it was nearly 10:00, and I gave up, turned out the light, and drifted off into a dream world. The next thing I knew, my alarm clock was telling me it was time to wake up.

That was before I was a mom. Things have changed. My bedtime has slowly been creeping back on me. At some point realized my goal was to be in bed by 11:00. Now, it’s midnight. Sometimes I make it, but not always. I really don’t want to allow it to creep into the early morning hours.

What is it about having children that changed me? It’s not that they keep me up late. They usually go to bed between 8:00-9:00 in the evening. I suppose I could follow shortly after. But that would require me to give up my much-needed “Me Time”.

I love my children. They are the center of my world. As much as I may complain about every mess they make, I wouldn’t trade them for a kitchen floor that was always clean. Being a mom makes up a good part of who I am. But there is another part of me, a part that demands I give it proper attention.

It’s the woman side of me. I may be a mother, but I’m also still a woman. I have personal needs. I need personal time. That usually only happens when the kids are asleep, so I savor it.

Sometimes I use my personal time to accomplish important tasks. Sometimes I spend it working on a personal project, like writing a new chapter in my novel, scrapbooking, or e-mailing friends and family. There are even times when I sit there, doing absolutely nothing, trying to convince myself to go to bed but refusing to give up “My Time”.

Nights are peaceful. Nights are calm. Okay, not all nights. I have my fair share of holding sick children, or convincing them there isn’t a bear under the bed. Some nights they just don’t want to fall asleep, and it eats into my personal time.

It’s a challenge for me to give up that precious alone time. But my children are, after all, more important. Being a mother is a big job. It doesn’t end at bedtime, just because the clock says so.

Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I find myself getting angry with them for not going to sleep. In times like these I have to force myself to stop being selfish. I have been given the greatest gift a woman can be given.

Heavenly Father has entrusted me with some of his precious children. On the day I meet Him again, I don’t want to be asked to explain why I neglected His children in their time of need. No project I accomplish will be worth feeling I failed as a mother.



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guest post by Kim of Sometimes Hard, But Oh-So Worth It


Photo by Michel Filion