Sex is EVERYWHERE.
It's
on TV, radio, the Internet and is a fairly regular topic of
conversation at school. With so many sources influencing your kids, the
question is, what are you telling them?
Here's a guarantee: whatever you don't talk about with them, someone else will.
I'm a little peeved at the moment because of a fairly recent news report that aired on Good Morning America called, "Safer Sex: Some Parents Allow Their Teens to Have Sex Inside Family Home". The argument in favor of this new practice is one we've heard before with other illicit activities. "I'd rather he do it here than somewhere else."
Really? You're an idiot.
That kind of logic basically opens the door to a teenage pandoras box.
Drugs. "I'd rather he do it here than somewhere else."
Drinking. "I'd rather he do it here than somewhere else."
This
train of thought hinges on one key assumption - that no matter what,
your kid is going to have sex. It doesn't matter what you do or say they
are going to have sex, so you might as well provide a clean environment
for it to take place in.
When
did parents stop giving themselves credit for the influence they can
have on their children? My parents played a huge role in helping me
avoid certain mistakes along the way. They weren't perfect and I still
had my fair share of screwups - BUT they were very open to talk
with me about anything. They made an active effort to try and help me
understand what was right and wrong.
We
had a combined young men/young women meeting recently to discuss the
topic of sexual purity. We basically just read the section in the For
the Strength of Youth pamphlet. It is a fantastic section and gives a
great base for further conversation.
In our day and with the things kids hear in school, there needs to be MUCH more discussion on the topic than simply, "don't have sex till you're married".
I
could spout off some topics that would make many of us blush and get a
little fidgety. But those are things I heard come out of the mouths of
high schoolers I have been around at some point over the past year.
Parents
can't be afraid to talk about sex openly. Teens have lots of questions
and sometimes need to have some concrete boundaries. I was the king of
finding "loopholes" and rationalizing certain things growing up. There
will always be kids like that. With that in mind, the discussion on the
topic of morality needs to be a fairly in depth one. Be the first to get
to your teen before someone else does. Kids are picking up things at
much younger ages now. The sooner you step in and develop that
relationship of open communicati
on the sooner you will be able to truly help influence your teen in a positive manner.
What are some suggestions you have for approaching the topic of sex with your kids?
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Kyle is the Director of Marketing at Blickenstaff's Toy Store and he blogs over at Liken365! When he's not working, he's dancing! He is a bboy (breakdancer) and teaches at Center Stage in Orem, Utah.
photo credit: Barnaby Wasson
photo credit: Barnaby Wasson